yesterday went swimming with wei tat. thats about it. nothin much happened. but i found it really hard to concentrate. sometimes i dont get why she wont let me in. perhaps she already knows about how i feel. or perhaps she just doesn't care. i find it so hard to care for a person like tht. but in any case she is my fren first, crush second.

figuring her out has started to wear me out abit. sometimes i dont know anymore. i dont know anythk about everything anymore. most likely have to avoid her on monday. i fking promised myself not to message her. but fuck. i broke my own promise to myself. now again its landed me being torn apart.

why do i keep doing this to myself? i just keep tearing myself up. should have known that noone can ever love me. im just a doofus who cant learn from lessons. ill prolly die alone anyway. no diff. cant take it anymore! haiz.

jasmine ur ipod still with me =.= thanks! it helps my depression alot